Future and present
since i was little, my dreams are always as big as nobody can think.
at six, i dreamt to be an astronaut.
and i kept sticking to the dream,
coz i dont have any other ambition that caught my attention.
later then, when i found out that my physique wont allow me to be an astronaut,
i changed my ambition to be a doctor.
but that was when my fikrah has undergone some evolutions.
i wished to be a doctor,
but a doctor that can istinbat laws,
that can build his own house and hospital,
that can give detail explanation on every single quranic verse and narrations.
in short, reviving the legacy of muslim scholar.
to be like shafie.
to be like avicenna.
to be like abuqrat.
but have you forgotten that shafie memorized the whole quran when he was seven?
and he started to give fatwa when he was 15?
and i'm 20. still, im nobody.
'Umar al-khattab. during his believing age, he cant still forget his past.
he wept very badly about his attitudes during jahiliyyah.
that's an evidence that we cannot run from our past.
do u ever regret something that you have done in the past?
can you ever deny the fact that how many backwards the past has been,
the bad is still done by you?
who you are today. what's your status today. how good you are today. what age you are today.
can you deny that you have done bad in the past?
yes. we can never escape from the past.
you are right. let's dont make this as an obstacle for us to move forward.
let's repent. repent. and repent.
and remember that dark past.
so that our future would not be as dark as the past.
let's keep weeping for the dark past.
so that we would be more careful to not be near to the darkness.
"Wahai Tuhan Kami, jangan Kau palingkan hati kami setelah Kau kurniakan kepada kami hidayah"