Thursday, October 21, 2010

aku tidak mahu kelu ketika itu.

mujur kini dagu ditumbuhi janggut. kalau tidak, maka akan kelihatan sebekas parut di situ.
parut yang diperolehi kira-kira 15 tahun lalu.
kerana terpengaruh dengan aksi remaja ketika itu yang hendak berlagak menaiki basikal tanpa memegang handle. Lalu, jatuhlah Syed Mohd Syahmi dgn gaya superman.

kala itu, aku tak terasa ingin bangun.
namun siapa yang akan datang membawa aku pulang?
lantas aku bangun sendiri. menunggang basikal yang melukai aku sebentar tadi tanpa serik.
seminggu dagu ku berbalut.

itu kisah lama aku.
kisah jatuh yang dapat dilihat dgn mata kasar.

dan tak siapa dapat membantah, bahawa jatuh itu adalah sebahagian dari kehidupan.
ayat ini aku dengar dan aku hafal ketika tingkatan empat.

Adakah manusia mengira Kami akan membiarkan mereka mengaku "kami beriman" sedangkan mereka tidak diuji.
Al-'Ankabut (29:2)

ketika itu rasa terkesan sekali ayat itu pada aku.
lantas jiwa yang bergolak menjadi tenang. segala masalah terasa bagai gula-gula kapas.
manis. ringan. bagai tiada apa.

lantas ketika itu aku sedar. bahawa segala yang aku lalui hanya satu ujian kelayakan.
sama ada aku benar-benar layak mendabik dada mengaku aku beriman.
ataupun orang yang gagal dalam ujian tapi mengaku mendapat tempat pertama.

kata seorang sahabat,
segala yang kita perolehi di dunia terlalu bersifat sementara.
sem lepas mungkin aku mampu bangga mendapat 4.0. (CONTOH...)
tapi segalanya hilang hari ini.
biarpun hari ini aku mendapat 1.99 (CONTOH KEDUA), dan aku meratap. aku menangis.
aku bersedih. aku meraung. aku salahkan takdir. aku salahkan semua di sekeliling aku.

tapi adakah itu berbaloi jika aku gagal menjawab di akhirat nanti,
"Mengapa engkau tidak bersabar atas ujian yang Aku berikan?
Mengapa engkau tidak bersyukur kerana Aku masih berikan 1.99?"

aku tidak mahu kelu ketika itu.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

sajak bertajuk..

aku yang tak masyi


di kala mereka hanyut
hanyut dalam dakapan bayu lembut
bersama belaian mimpi
dalam nikmat lena

aku dibawa memori
kepada kenangan indah yang pernah kukecapi dulu.

ku ingat.

ketika itu segalanya amat indah.
terlalu manis untuk diukir.
saat dihatiku hanya ada dia.

saat itu.
aku tak endahkan masa.
siang malam aku bersamanya.
dan aku tak kisah apa manusia akan kata.

namun kini.
bila di hati hadir yang lain.
tumpuan mula beralih.
kenangan kian kabur.
ingatan kian kusut.

wahai Al-Quran.
tak pernah terlintas utk aku lupakanmu.
terasa ingin ku ulang detik lalu.
menghabiskan sehari suntuk bersamamu.

sungguh cita-cita ini tak pernah luput.
aku ingin setiap bait dirimu hidup dalam ingatan.
mencorakkan fikiran.
menghiasi hati.
menceriakan diri.

andai kau mahu untuk bersamaku.
mencorakkan fikiranku.
menghiasi hatiku.
menceriakan diriku.

nescaya engkau akan sentiasa meniti di bibirku.



p/s: aku nak masyi.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

conservation.

Epilogue

this is a dedication to my brother Saiful Alimin and my physics lecturer, Madam Habibah Yusoff.
Physics is a subject i have the least interest in. But i seemed to do better in Physics than the subject I have more interest in ; Biology. Madam Habibah kept repeating during all classes throughout last semester that the law of conservation of energy happens in all situation, all place.

The Law of Conservation of Energy

According to Sir Serway, the law of conservation of energy states that energy cannot be created and cannot be destroyed. However, it can be transformed and transferred.

For instance, the electrical energy that is being supplied to a light bulb will be transformed to heat energy and light energy. And some are also transformed into sound energy in faulty bulbs. The conversions of energy proves that energy is not destroyed. This shows that energy is conserved.

Adaption to real life

In simple situations, it can be easily understood that what we eat will be converted into energy. The more we eat, the more energy we gain, and thus the more work can be done.

But have we ever adapted it into even more complex situation? Like exams, turning the world into a better place to live in? and so on?

Everything is conserved. If you work hard, you will achieve good marks in your exam. All your hard work, your prayer and your good deed will be converted into what you will get in your exam
(Habibah Yusoff, 2010)

I agree so much with the statement.
We will get back exactly the same value as what we have invested in order to achieve our goals.
If we get good results, then there must be something significant during our struggle that awards us with such good result.
If we dont, then dont whine. There must be some flaws here and there during our struggle.
Our struggle maybe regarded as the hardest one can see on earth, but the flaws can simply eradicate the hard work.

It might be our selfishness, our independence to God, our despicable acts. It can be anything.

All CFS IIUM students.
The result will be out next week, insya-Allah. Let us pray the hardest so that we will get what we worked for.

p/s : I want 4.0. Please pray for me. :)

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

the past, the present and the future.

headnote : maksu, if u ever read this post, im very2 sorry for stealing gambar afiefa n afiefi :D

how far can the present can trigger our mind to look into the future?
how far can the present can stimulate our mind to ponder the past?
how far can the past can be learnt from so that the future is not as bad as the present?

today i babysitted my beautiful adorable cousins. Sharifah Salma 'Afiefa n Sharifah Salma 'Afiefi.
i know u can tell. yes. they are twins.
they are so beautiful that i felt like i just want to eat them up. haha. no im not joking.
i really felt like eating them up. why? dont trust me? see for yourselves.


told u i didnt lie. but 1 thing that came into my mind.
today, these beautiful girls are innocent. no sins. no what. clean and clear.
everybody loves them. they cheer up their parents and everybody that sees them.

and there is a big, big BUT here.
nobody knows what they might turn out into in the future.
i dont want to have any bad imaginations in my mind. so i pray they will turn out into very wise, pious, clever beautiful girls that have a very clear fikrah.
that have a very clear view of their purpose of life. i prayed n am praying and will keep praying.
you too, please pray for them.

that was about the present and the future.

now let us think about ourselves.
at the same date 19 years ago, i was slightly older than these two girls. and im very sure that my parents and uncles and aunties looked after me very well. cared for me very well. loved me with the most intense love one can ever give.
when i cry, they coaxed me.
if im bored from lying down, they pick me up, bring me anywhere safe they can think.

and 19 years later, here i am.
not only i can walk by myself. i can also look after their children.

but what i am really hoping is, they dont feel a waste taking care of me during i was small.
i am really afraid that they would say,

dulu masa kecik2 aku dukung kau. aku jaga kau bagai nak rak. dukung kau sana sini. tapi bila besar, kau jadi macam ni? sia2 aku jaga kau kecik2 dulu.

well i guess you can say what the baby meant in the quoting turned out into.
no. i dont want to mention precisely. let us just have the basic ideas. okay?
basically, the baby do not turn out like what their parents want them or expect them to turn out into. let's just think that way.

i have felt how disappointing it is when a person i cared from he/she was little turns out into somebody that i have never thought of all my life.
i have felt how sad it is when a person i played with since i was little, who exhibited the potential to be quite a figure today, turns out exactly the opposite way he/she was.

but i do not blame them.
there must be flaws here and there. in me who took care of them. who played with them.
in educational system. be it formal or informal. in the social system. everything.

i have experienced the feeling and i know how painful it is. how i cannot find any words to describe the pain. how i feel like even death is not as painful as the disappointment and sadness.

so i really dont want what i experienced today (well, not really today. i mean, in the recent time) to be repeating. be it to me or any other person. be it now or in the future.

if we feel like, there might be anybody who might feel disappointed and sad with what we turned out into, let us correct ourselves. i mean it. OURSELVES.
i mean YOU and ME.

and let us work so that it wont happen ever again in the future.

p/s : im sorry if i have made anybody disappointed or sad. i guess you can tell. i am a bit emotional here. haha

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

ups. and downs.

i was told not to mention my weakness at the starting of my speech or anything. but this time, i want you guys to check my grammatical errors and sentence structures. because my english is not very good.



a human is forever a human.
a human can never be an angel. nor a devil.
and most impossible, God.

but mentioning about human, it is indeed subjective.
when a person talk about human, we can think that that person actually wanted to talk about human and feelings.

we can also think that that person actually wanted to talk about the bright side of being a human, or maybe also the dark side.

as for me, i prefer to be on the fence. why? because i wanna see both sides without bias.
that is the only reason why i always stay on the fence when anything pops out.

we are human and we can never avoid from what is obligatory for a human being.
we cannot run from living the life.
we cannot run from being tested.
we cannot run from the ups and downs in life.

do not deny.
everybody faces this.
nobody can ever evade.
never ever. dont trust me? try pondering your journey in life.
now say yes.

there is a quoting that i found recently (well, not very recently)

"When I fall, don't come and ask me why do I fall.
But come and tell me, that I can stand up back.
Thanks" (Sharifah Zahidah, 2010).


i know the APA format is incorrect. but this one is intentional. please dont waste time correcting this one, okay :)

that really hits the point and i really want everybody in the world to have the same thinking.
sahabat dan ikhwah, please keep this in your mind.

sometimes people are down. they lose track of themselves. they lose their spirit and all.
then we come to be nice. we try to take them back to their path.
but it dont end up like how we desired. it ended up conversely.

we need skills, guys.
good intentions only is not enough. wisdom is also a part of the success plan.
take my words. i mean it. words.

1 thing that i wish u guys wont drop it.
today, it might be the person beside us is down. dont laugh. dont condemn.
coz tomorrow might be our day. do we want to be laughed at? do we want to be condemned?

the above quote is the words that i love most. let's take a look at the below. the words that i hate the most.


tu dia. tgkla dia tu. dulu berlagak baik bukan main. kopiah sana sini. sound orang sana sini. dalil 24 jam. tgk. skrg dia lagi teruk dari kita. (anonymous, n.d.)


i wont say itu budaya melayu or what. just let's think.
how good a person is, how nice a person is, how pious a person is, he is also a human.
he is not perfect and he can never be perfect. he is also subjected to the gravity of life.

but please bear in mind, the higher we gets, the greater the impact when we fall.
that might apply to the 'pious' person stated above.
i guess this is all for us, for this time, to ponder about.

we have brain. why dont we use to think? or maybe, for this time only?

P/S: thanks a lot to a best friend of mine for helping me find myself again.